


the universe owes you nothing

by makemelovely



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-30 14:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12655458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: Elena Gilbert's parents never died. They made it home, safe and sound. Elena lived another few months knowing nothing about grief. Until Stefan Salvatore shows up. And suddenly she wants him, fiercely and desperately. It's wild and passionate. It's everything she dreamed about and read about. It haunts her dreams, stings her memories. But it's not what she needs. Not at all.





	the universe owes you nothing

Elena grinned, leaning awkwardly against Jeremy's shoulder. "Sorry I missed game night." She mumbles in his ear.

Jeremy just grins, pushes her away playfully. "Don't talk to me, I'm pissed." He's laughing, glancing at her every few seconds as he sketches away at his paper.

"Sorry, Sir." She teases him, pressing a sloppy kiss against his cheek and cackling when he scolds her for moving too much. "Won't happen again, Sir." She promises, brown eyes twinkling happily.

This Elena Gilbert has never known what it feels like to drown. This Elena Gilbert doesn't know that tragedy exists, swimming in her veins and weighing her down.

This Elena Gilbert is happy.

* * *

 

Summer slides by in a blur of cheerleading camp, uneventful months, and heavy make-out sessions with Matt. It slides by with cookies, campfires, and laughter. It slides by in a way that is easy to forget and easy to remember instead of days that blur together in an endless pit of grief.

Elena shops until she drops, laughs until her sides ache, smiles until her face hurts, and loves until her heart is overflowing.

She doesn't even think of spending a second locked in her room, overrun with grief.

Elena wouldn't dare.

* * *

 

Matt smiles at her, blue eyes shining and blonde hair glinting gold in the sunlight. "I love you, Elena Gilbert." He promises her, sincerely and without an inch of doubt in his heart.

"I love you, Matt Donovan." Elena replies, unsure if she is telling the truth or slipping a lie from her tongue. It probably doesn't matter. She and Matt are forever, even if that seems awfully unfortunate. Who wants to be stuck with someone for the rest of eternity? That seems dull.

* * *

 

There is a new boy and he is the talk of the town. "His name is Stefan Salvatore." Caroline tells her, voice rising and falling with excitement as her words flow over each other. She's eager to share her intel, Elena observes as she halfheartedly scribbles out an answer to a summer reading sheet.

"Why do I care?" Elena asks, ignoring the fact that she filed that information away for later use.

"Because I do." Caroline grins, green eyes flickering with something Elena doesn't want to think about. "And he's hot." Caroline tacks on, fingering the edge of her cute blue shirt.

Elena reaches over, grabbing Caroline's hand. "I'll take your word for it." Elena reassuringly squeezes Care's hand, dropping it quickly as she goes back to her summer reading assignment. She bullshits another answer but she knows she'll get away with it. Why? Because she's Elena fucking Gilbert that's why.

* * *

 

"I'm Stefan." His hand is cold but his green eyes are warm.

"I'm Elena." She's sure her smile is too warm and her eyes too bright.

"I'm Caroline." Caroline interrupts, pushing blonde curls over her shoulder as she smiles a winning smile. Her teeth are straight and white, breath minty fresh and voice a little low but otherwise unchanged.

Stefan laughs, reaching over and trailing a hand through her hair. He pulls a piece of lint away, smirking knowingly at Caroline's flushed cheeks. "Got it." He flicks it to the ground and stretches out in his seat leisurely. Under the table, he puts his hand on Elena's thigh and she doesn't push it away.

It's a welcome weight.

* * *

 

Matt chastely presses a kiss to Elena's lips before moving lower and lower and . . . oh that's nice.

Stefan chastely presses a kiss to Elena's forehead before moving lower and shoving his tongue in her mouth. "Who's Matt?" He mumbles against her lips.

"He's, um, oh . . ." Elena moans quietly as Stefan moves to her neck. He bites and there is a stinging pain before he soothes it with his tongue. When he meets her eyes they are a darker green. Hungry, almost. "my boyfriend." she finally stutters out.

He might not have heard her but the sudden hand in her pants and the lights dancing in her vision tells her otherwise.

* * *

 

"I'm Damon." Blue eyes, a sinister smirk.

Elena's kind of ashamed to say she kissed him three days after.

* * *

 

"You're beautiful." Matt breathes against her sun kissed skin.

"You're glorious." Stefan worships her at the space between her bird-like collar bones that is slick with sweat.

"You're savage." Damon groans as he bites along her neck.

Which is she? Beautiful, glorious, or savage.

Which one is true?

* * *

 

Elena slides between pieces of herself as quick as lightning. It comes as easy as breathing.

With Matt, she is sweet and kind. Doting and attentive. The perfect girlfriend. It's a façade, one she is afraid to drop.

With Stefan, she is wild and reckless. Free and overwhelmed with the joy of being alive. It's a rush of adrenaline that she's not willing to part with.

With Damon, she is awful and terrible. Her flaws are blown wide but he doesn't mind. It's messy and heartbreaking but she can't stop. It's nice to be herself, awful and selfish but that's okay.

She's not sure if there are three Elena's or if she's just delusional. Does it matter?

* * *

 

Of course it matters.

* * *

 

"I love you." Elena says to the mirror, photographs of all her boys lined up, one after the other. Matt, soft twinkling blue eyes. Stefan, alert green eyes. Damon, dangerous blue eyes.

She doesn't love all of them, though. Who is she talking to?

* * *

 

Hands entwined lazily. Mouths slotting together with ease. "I love you's." exchanged without thought.

She's not sure who she's talking to either.


End file.
